A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I am naked and annoyed.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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