He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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