And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
