Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
