it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
