lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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