yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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