that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
