thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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