whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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