Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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