You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just cropdusted the office
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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