my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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