Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
