there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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