Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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