I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize