For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
