I don't usually arrange sex via text message
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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