I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
