What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
