I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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