two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
