At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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