I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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