Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
try to milk me bitch
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