Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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