we're chasing vodka with high fives
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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