last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
