HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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