If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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