um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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