That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You pole danced in your parka.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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