ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
