If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
