I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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