we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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