fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
