Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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