from now on my penis is your penis
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize