I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
