So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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