I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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