Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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