Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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