Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Enjoy the penises
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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