Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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