You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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