hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
