We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
