He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
you didnt know i had herpes?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
