I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize