Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
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she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
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Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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