can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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