i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
