I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
