White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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