i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
