How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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