Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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