i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
