how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
And then he peed in my hair
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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