Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
