Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
