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• (917): View more from New York City

  i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  fair is fair

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  we already have meals planned for the weekend.

  (1-864): View more from South Carolina

  SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.

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• (650): View more from California

  It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.

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