Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.

(859): View more from Kentucky

i did. i'm using it as a microphone.

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(703): maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking. (859): i did. i'm using it as a microphone. http://tfl.nu/mm1q

Replies (8) Good night (3009) Bad night (597)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day

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(973): yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day http://tfl.nu/9i5e

Replies (13) Good night (1193) Bad night (2656)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.

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(508): Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend. http://tfl.nu/c0jn

Replies (55) Good night (4160) Bad night (836)
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(314): View more from Missouri

So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.

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(314): So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs. http://tfl.nu/yiuw

Replies (16) Good night (939) Bad night (3484)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Did we have sex last night?

(1-706): View more from Georgia

I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.

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(706): Did we have sex last night? (1-706): I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me. http://tfl.nu/f9pg

Replies (16) Good night (675) Bad night (6254)
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(858): View more from California

I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"

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(858): I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits" http://tfl.nu/l1ei

Replies (29) Good night (5036) Bad night (1462)
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(216): View more from Ohio

She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened

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(216): She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened http://tfl.nu/r1vr

Replies (11) Good night (4814) Bad night (1358)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it

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(778): You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it http://tfl.nu/gf74

Replies (7) Good night (4148) Bad night (1407)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.

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(812): Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand. http://tfl.nu/f9hd

Replies (9) Good night (655) Bad night (3365)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.

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(778): Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours. http://tfl.nu/s2ri

Replies (1) Good night (511) Bad night (367)
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(616): View more from Michigan

this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.

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(616): this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it. http://tfl.nu/xeu6

Replies (4) Good night (908) Bad night (284)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.

(304): View more from West Virginia

Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.

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(803): I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had. (304): Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little. http://tfl.nu/dkf0

Replies (6) Good night (1122) Bad night (373)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"

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(651): these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck" http://tfl.nu/ykzg

Replies (3) Good night (528) Bad night (349)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?

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(604): you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping? http://tfl.nu/kskl

Replies (1) Good night (497) Bad night (221)
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(727): View more from Florida

My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.

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(727): My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult. http://tfl.nu/3wr7

Replies (1) Good night (146) Bad night (305)

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