WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
