i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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