you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
